Don't "Incept" Yourself

I used to be obsessed with my "inner tube" waist

Did you know that the more you talk about a problem the more likely you are to stay fixated on the problem? 
And the more you talk about change, the more likely you are to actually change.

Ever since high school I noticed that I wasn't built like many of my friends. I had a short torso a wide waist and narrow hips.  I've gone back through old journals where I lament to my boyfriend at the time about my strange shape (and he agreed with me!) Sometimes I wish I could go back and hug 16 year old me and tell her not to worry.  It didn't stop when I got out of high school and it carried on for years. My rolls, my stomach, I obsessed over them. If only I had wider hips, if only I had different genetics and this went on and on.


I see it with my clients often. They look in the mirror at the gym and take stock in their flaws.

"These saddlebags off of my hips are gross". 

"Ugh, I hate this roll in my stomach."

​"I missed my workout yesterday, I'm so lazy".

​First of all it saddens me to know that we're picking ourselves apart like this.  It causes so much stress and it doesn't help anything.  By continuing to focus on what's "wrong" we can never move forward.  It's like "Inception" when Leonardo DiCaprio's character ends up back in the same place with every dream meanwhile frustrating the hell out of everyone around him.  Your supposed flaws, that's Mal, telling you to stay in the nightmare of self-consciousness and self loathing. You're "incepting" yourself.

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So how the heck do you move on, start actually taking action and making a change?

First of all, it helps to look at the meaning behind the words.  You're saying you hate your love handles or saddlebags but what does that really mean?

Well, Jen, it means that I'm fat and gross, right? Yes, and it probably means you're a terrible person too. I'M KIDDING! I don't really know what it means but I can take a few guesses and you can dig a little deeper to find out what it means for you.

Sometimes it helps to skip ahead to the person without said supposed flaws. What's she like? She's probably, happy, confident and healthy. She doesn't waste her time worrying about her body because she's too busy living her life.

On the surface, you're focused on changing your appearance, but really it's out of a desperate desire to FEEL differently.  Once you've visited your future self, focus on the changes that you could make to become that woman.  If you pass the mirror in the process, resist the urge to be mean to present you.  You can cheer present you on, or you can turn your ass around and go find something more productive to do.

Remember, the longer you sit there staring at what you don't like about yourself the longer it'll take to change.

Focusing on the problem = stagnation

Focusing on actions and change = progress

Easier said than done, right?  It's true, these changes are simple but not easy.  Start by being aware of when you're fixating on a problem.  Whenever you notice it happening, pivot and think about what changes you'd like to make. 
Too tired to go to the gym? Focus on getting more sleep by making sure you put your phone away 1 hour before bed.
Don't like the way your clothes fit? Maybe it's time to address foods that might be leaving you feeling bloated or maybe it's time to buy clothes that suit your body type well or both.

That's all I have for you today. Go forth and kick some butt!